Joanne (00:39)
As the year of the snake comes to an end, I found myself looking back, not so much in a dramatic way, not searching for meaning so much, but noticing actually what's already gone, what's changed. Because this year, well, because it doesn't really end, ? Until the 17th of February, the year of the snake.
What did it actually ask me to let go of? What did it move out my way without me having to do so much? Because it showed me rapidly without apologies, some things, you know, I noticed I did release willingly. Others were just basically snatched out my hands without warning. Almost felt like without a deep conversational understanding, without the ending I thought I needed.
So welcome back to Reconnected Fire and thank you so much for being here today. This episode is really going to start to question what has the last 12 months really been for you? There's something about the ending of a year, not a calendar one, but this one is definitely been a more energetic one that asks for honesty, truth.
which can really feel raw at times. It doesn't even ask for a list of what's gone right or achievements so much. It's almost like a pathway of your own truth being peeled away and left very vulnerable and very rapidly having to see and feel your own truth. And maybe you didn't even plan it this way.
Because the year of the snake comes to a close and I've been reflecting not what actually I've achieved so much but what I've left. Because it arrived, it arrived with a lot of removals.
which later appeared as lessons and ways to invite some deeper healing, cleansing almost, an inward investigation which helped me let go of the old beliefs, stories which had been in my past for most of my life. They kept me safe, but now they're bloody hindering where I was going. And the year of the snake isn't so much gentle, it's a shed. You don't really have a choice in it.
And it arrives with removing. Some were slow and sudden, and some happened without any consent explanation or really, I didn't really understand at the time. Yet sitting here now in the stillness of this winter, I can feel something more clearly that none of it was actually random. And even though it might have felt, none of it was punishment.
It was all for my benefit, even when it didn't feel kind. The snake doesn't negotiate transformation. It doesn't ease you in gently or explain itself kindly. It sheds because it has to. Because staying in an old skin would...
Well basically you know what it does, you know what it does to a snake, it restricts growth. The Year of the Snake is very much about quietness, relentless, internal.
You don't often realise what's happening until you look back and notice that there's more space than there ever was before. This isn't a year of becoming something new. It's a year of becoming less of what you're not. This year, some things left my life suddenly, not through long conversations, not even through mutual understandings. And it didn't actually feel like any neat endings. They were removed. Relationships, dynamics, ways of being, even versions
of myself without asking my opinions. God did it feel rapid, it kind of frantic, but with an under knowing trust that it's meant to happen, so don't delay it a minute longer, even though my logical brain was going this is wrong. But something inside of me knew that actually it had to happen fast. So have you noticed this or things that have got moved out of your way?
way you felt that you didn't really understand why things were changing so rapidly this year.
Because at the time my mind wanted to understand it, process it and make sense before I took action. But I don't think the year of the snake gives us that option. I think it just sheds a venue left with the explanation of what the hell's going on. So to make sense of it, to pick it apart, because I love to go deeply inwards on things too much sometimes. That's just the way my nervous system has always been, over analyzing to protect myself.
But my body already knew, my nervous system softened after some of these endings, even while my mind was basically protesting and arguing it.
That's something I've learnt to trust now. When relief arrives, before my logical mind can make sense, it's actually worth listening to. But I don't think I've really trusted it as much as I've had to this year. Sometimes we do know what needs to change, but the answers don't feel really safe enough to act upon yet. Knowing doesn't always mean we are ready to, does it? There are times in my life when I sense the truth.
I understood about people, their patterns, the situations, their behaviour. But acting on it would have meant me being alone. Maybe judged or losing a sense of belonging. I wasn't ready to release at that moment. It's not weakness, it's just survival. This year didn't demand courage before safety for me. I've noticed one thing it did bring to me. It built safety first.
And you notice that once safety arrives, truth becomes livable. Literally like you've just opened a door and you've welcomed it. And it feels safe enough to lean into. One of the greatest gifts of this snake year has been internal. Not about external wins or what I've done, but safety.
I've had to face so much of my past. The old pains I'd buried hidden deep and sometimes terror. But I had no idea. I was able to, well, even cope with back then. I do wonder. But to revisit and have it come back up again and to relive it made me realise how bloody strong I was as a child and teenager and young adult. But this time I made space for it. I gave it room.
I didn't project it, I didn't throw it away, I didn't hide it and distract myself. I sat with it in discomfort, and I mean real discomfort, for no, well, there wasn't a time limit. It's when it was ready to move on. But I had a deep knowing that it would move on this time, that this kind of shedding was deep and personal, but actually, there was huge benefits for this.
And there wasn't going to be another time that was more suitable for me to do it. Because your body and mind will only give you what you're ready to cope with, even though it might not feel it. But truly, you are. You're far stronger than you believe you are. So it's given me safety to choose differently. It also gave me safety to say no without explaining or justifying myself to anyone anymore.
Yeah, I spoke and I questioned and I queried, but the conclusions I come to were the same. Safety to trust myself even when others didn't understand. Safety to speak my mind, line with my own intuition, my own heartfelt actions that needed to happen.
and also stand in my own truth even when it felt really uncomfortable, even when others tried to argue to change my thoughts or my outcome.
We're so conditioned to believe that loss always means failure, that if something ends, we must have done something wrong. But the snake year teaches something completely different, doesn't it? Sometimes things end because they just can't come with you. Not because they're bad, not because you're ungrateful.
but simply because of the shape of the, well, of who you're becoming into and you no longer fit what you were. Some skins just don't tear. They simply loosen and slide off when the body is ready, which can feel really vulnerable.
There were parts of this year which I didn't choose to let go of. I held on, I hoped and I waited and still life intervened. Doors opened, people drifted and well the usual circumstances changed. At the time I questioned my trust, my ability to able to know what I could do but actually I questioned myself so much in the end I come to the simple conclusion, let it go, let go. I wondered if I missed something.
Now I can see it. Some things only leave once you have enough inner strength to actually survive their absence. Because when we want to let go of things, what we don't realise is it leaves a massive space, a void. But if that void has always been a scary place, your survival brain will make sure you don't, as long as you don't need to. So the timing wasn't cruel, it was actually precise.
Here's something that feels really important for me to share with you. That it didn't happen overnight. This wasn't something that just instantly come up and moved through me and went. It happened through everything that was removed over and over again. It was repeated. I don't know if you've noticed this as well, because when life strips you back,
you actually start to discover what actually is holding you up. And it actually turned out you're more resourceful than you ever believed you were. Because looking back, can see that everything this year removed was something I was already outgrowing. But at such a speed, it was almost like my mind couldn't keep up.
I was like, just let me enjoy this moment for a bit and next it got taken and whisked away and again something new came in. So the old rules and the old obligations and especially the old identities built around me proving myself people pleasing, enduring and especially over giving, none of them, they weren't wrong at the time. They helped me survive earlier chapters of my life. They were vital.
But survival isn't meant to be a permanent state. It's better to thrive than to survive. The snake sheds when survival becomes restriction. So if you're listening to this, I want you now, I'd love to invite you just to stop trying to understand the year for a moment. But instead, try to feel it. Not with your head. Go inwards with your body.
Think back over the last year and notice this is not about judgement. What is no longer present? Feel it. Not what you decided to let go of, but what simply isn't there anymore.
A version of yourself maybe? A relationship? Maybe it's a way that you used to respond.
a tolerance that once you had that's now not there. Really just allow yourself to feel into it and notice what's gone.
And then notice how your body feels now that it's actually gone. Is there more relief? Has it come with bit of sadness or guilt maybe? Do you feel more spacious, more ease, less tension? Because that kind of noticing really matters.
Some things don't wait until we feel emotionally prepared for, do they? They don't give us any notice, which doesn't help soften the blow. They don't check whether we understand why or how. They leave when we're strong enough to live without them. And that is as simple as it gets. They truly leave when we're strong enough to live without them. But it doesn't mean our mind is caught up yet.
even if we haven't realised it. And this is where so many of us struggle, we? Because we tell ourselves, if it was right, it would have ended like this. If I was ready, it wouldn't have hurt so much. But endings aren't exams we pass, are they? They're actually moments and movements of truth. You don't need to be emotionally tidy for people to complete. You only need to have grown enough to survive its absence.
There's another way this year you may have shifted but it's also easy to miss. You might notice you react less. You might even explain yourself less and don't feel justified to.
And you don't make excuses as easy. You don't hold the old conversations. You don't hold the old guilt. All the old explanations rehearsed in your mind over and over again. If something has already ended, your body doesn't need to keep holding onto it.
because sometimes the final part of letting go is allowing yourself to stop reliving it. Because what I've noticed, everything you let go of, your mind is then trying desperately then to hold back on. And circumstances and people suddenly start coming back in your life, almost to test to see if you really want to let that go. Could you relate to this? Can you see this happening? Because any belief that we let go of...
It's so embedded into your subconscious mind, it's going to fight before you let go of it. So even the year of the snake, the shedding can feel, I felt I dealt with that and then suddenly something comes up that triggers it all again.
But have faith and keep letting go because your body knows exactly what's right for you. Nobody else does, just you. One of the hardest truth to accept often is this, some things leave because they're no longer safe. And it's not because you've created an ending or it's failed or it looks reckless, but because you are different now.
There are virgins of you that survived by, as we know, accommodating, minimising and enduring unnecessary things. This year may have stepped in and said enough, that's enough. She's done that work. Because if something fell away and you still don't say fully understand why, maybe consider this possibility.
It actually didn't need your understanding, it needed your safety. Now I've fought with this one over this year, let me know if you have. You may have noticed that after certain endings, your body felt calmer, felt a massive relief.
Even when your heart was confused that it might have not been the right decision, but actually you noticed your whole body took a deep sigh and you took a relief breath and you felt that calmness. That matters. The nervous system often recognizes safety long before the mind can rationalize it. The fire?
inside that once rose quickly. The urge to defend, prove yourself, correct others, correct what they think. That may have softened not because you've lost your voice but because you no longer need to fight for your space or your place. That's the snake's medicine.
you don't hiss or strike when you feel rooted and grounded and safe. You actually conserve energy. You choose when to move. You don't react to everything that's going on around you. You protect your energy more. You respect your energy more. So if you've noticed yourself becoming quieter,
in certain spaces. That's not retreat, that's discernment. Some things this year matter deeply and even though they needed to end that doesn't mean they didn't hold connection, purpose or even beauty. You're allowed to grieve what was meaningful without reopening the door. You don't have to rewrite the past as bad just to justify the growth, the new. You can honour
what something gave you and still let it remain finished. You can be exceedingly grateful for what's come, but also that it's gone because actually it's now opening doors to new opportunities. The new version of you. The snake doesn't return to the old skin to fang it. It leaves it behind. No different from a butterfly. It doesn't go back and speak to the caterpillars.
to check if they're okay, it carries on its journeys on its wings. So the snake does the same, it's knowing it's served its time. So here's a gentle question for you to sit with. Is there anything you're still carrying, emotionally maybe, energetically, that life has already removed?
If your shoulders begin to sink, let go. Notice that you're letting go of that extra weight that you've been carrying all along. If your breathing starts to deepen rather than the shallow fearful breath, but have you noticed that you might be sleeping better after something ended? That wasn't coincidence. That's what you call alignment.
I just invite you to pause just for a moment in this episode if you can and just place one hand somewhere steady, maybe on your chest, your belly, your legs. And just ask yourself quietly, what am I no longer meant to carry forward?
You don't need an answer today. Just let the question exist. Because here's the truth. What comes after the snake year carries momentum. It's not going to wait for endless processing. It moves. And the reason this year stripped you back wasn't to leave you empty, but to make you lighter. So when movement arrives in being the year of the horse, you're not dragging the old skins behind you.
So if this year took something from you and you're still making peace with that, I want you to hear this clearly. You're not behind, you're not broken and you're not late. You are lighter and everything that left did so because it could not walk with you into where you're going next. So stay a little bit more gentle with yourself.
as it wasn't an easy year, but it was a necessary one. The skin is already off, the body is already free, and when the moment comes to move, believe me, you will.
Sometimes we've done most of the shedding, haven't we? The obvious layers are gone, the big endings have already happened, but yet something still stirs inside. Feelings arise, especially without warning. Resentment that surprises you starts to bubble up.
anger you thought you'd made peace with or maybe it's guilt that still burns quietly underneath everything else. That doesn't mean you've done anything wrong, it doesn't mean you're stuck or you're failing, it usually means you're touching the last skin. The one that's thinner, maybe closer and more tender. And that part often doesn't want forcing, it wants a little bit more of understanding.
safety and kindness because it can release it needs to be heard and seen.
And you don't have to do this alone. That's a story we've been taught, especially as women, that we should be able to handle everything on our own. That asking for support meant we were weak or needy or behind. But in truth, asking is often the bravest part. Because some think, and sometimes it's not actually about trying harder to let go, it's about being supported while you soften your grip.
that you feel safe to let go. Having someone walk beside you, help you understand why these feelings, why they're arising now. Help you release what no longer needs to be carried without the judgment, the pressure, or even the spiritual bypassing.
If you're listening to this and you're feeling like you're almost there but something inside still feels unresolved, heavy or unfinished, I offer clarity sessions for exactly this moment. For a calm grounded space to ease your mind. To gently shed the last pieces and to prepare with steadiness. For what's coming in next. So you can meet the year ahead lighter, clearer and more at ease.
Relief is what clients often tell me that they feel from carrying the resentment, relief from the old anger, the old fears and relief from guilt that no longer belongs to who they are becoming. It can feel a bit odd to that in-between stage of we've shed it all, but actually who are we becoming? Because there's this in-between nonsense stage almost like
you feel completely lost and you need something to give you that clarity again. So maybe this session would actually help you just get a better focus and make you feel a little bit more at ease and actually be able to take bolder steps without the fear of the unknown.
So if you've been listening and something's arising, if you notice feelings rising that you thought that you'd already dealt with or you sense that you're almost ready for what's next, but something's just unfinished, you don't have to be on your own. Please contact me, reach out, make that moment yours, make it count.
Book a session, even if you're not ready now. Do it when you are. Because sometimes having that extra support, having someone to be with you, can unravel the very last pieces, especially of this old skin that we need to let go of because believe me, now we move into the year of the horse. She's not a quiet horse. She's gonna be on full speed ahead.
this energy isn't about standing still it's about momentum. We might not take it as a full gallop we might take it as a trot or a gentle canter but it isn't going to be standing around. You'll feel it. So take some time this week to really appreciate how far you have come what has gone but what space is now open for what is coming into your life.
So until next week, take care.
