jo (00:01)
what nobody talks about just before you make that next quantum leap in the new chapter of your life. Welcome back to Reconnect Her Fire. Today I'm going to dive straight into a subject that time and time again women just do not see for what it truly is because they're so caught up in the reactive state and they're not able to sit back down and observe it.
And what I'm talking about is that stage when life seems to be the biggest shit show you've ever seen. Everything goes wrong. Whether it's a holiday or the car breaks down at the most unconvenient time, possibly on the way to the airport. And the holiday doesn't turn out like you want it to do. Friends let you down. Relatives screw up your partner.
might even make the biggest mistake of his life but it seems to be happening all at once and it never seems to stop they say it comes in frees but often it can come a lot more and what we fail to understand is maybe it's not what it appears to be maybe there's a lot more going on that once you fully can appreciate and step back
and observe instead of react you might see there was some good in it even if it now doesn't believe it can possibly be at the exact time when we level up when we move out of an old identity and we start whether it's self-awareness we start our own life journey we start to get mentored or coached or we start a new project
we've come to a stage where we've realised we want something different. You're bored, life isn't fulfilling you anymore. You might have ended a toxic relationship or just a long marriage hasn't worked out. But you know there's more to life because there's something inside of you that tells you you've got to try, you've got to try something different. And you might not know what that is and it feels quite scary because...
It's unknown, you've not tried something like this before and actually it's asking more of you than you feel at the time that you can give but you keep going anyway and this is how entrepreneurs start because that is basically what they're doing they're taking a leap of faith into something they've never done before they're starting their own business without any evidence it's going to work out without any evidence it's safe to do it
but they're still willing to jump in and try because it has to be better than what they were currently experiencing. There's got to be more wealth, more money, more joy, more freedom, more choices, not to have that nagging boss, not to be stuck waiting to be told when you can have a holiday or limited amount of holiday and let alone the capped wages you could have been stuck in.
So how brave is it when you take that leap of faith, you start that business, you end that relationship that no longer serves you, but you're stuck in what I call the in-between and it's mucky, it's horrible feeling and it can go on as long as you want it to go on, or it can end as quick as you make it end. But it's recognising what it is when it happens because then you might be able to navigate it.
in a more selective way and be able to let go quicker to allow what's due to come in faster. Now what I'm going to relate to is how many times it's happened to me in the last four years since I started my own journey I didn't know what it was in the beginning it was just crying it was just endless resentment and why have I even bothered starting and my gosh it's just so hard and I didn't understand the tech or
what was expected of me and all I was seeing was successful businesses rising but I wasn't and that was the problem so I would blame I would get angry I would end up so frustrated but time and time again it kept repeating so it kind of made sense I had to stop and think about this because I had noticed the shifts but I also noticed this pattern of having this massive merit down
and things going dramatically wrong just before levelling up. And it become really clear. And it become very evident when you listen to other women in business talking about when they're hitting all these blocks and they're big blocks, they're mountains. And when you hear about their struggles, I quietly think, wow, you're just about to stretch into the new version with more wealth.
more abundance and more joy if you choose it because a lot of times women give up they say they can't continue but actually that struggle was there for you in the first place it was letting go of the old beliefs that you had held on to because they felt safe they felt comfortable but they no longer served you they didn't actually enhance your life and they weren't allowing you to step into this new version of you
with new more empowering beliefs. So yeah, you've got to start to recognize if you're in business, if you've started a company or you've been going for 15, 20 years, you will know yourself exactly what I'm talking about. It's those moments where you hit brick wall after brick wall, disasters happen out of the blue, expenses get phenomenal when you don't have them.
you have no idea what to do next and the confusion gets overwhelming. You're waking up throughout the night and despite asking everybody and despite taking more courses or jumping on to more ideas things actually get worse before they get better.
Because if you could actually next time when this starts to happen is to step back and to actually observe it and just see it for what it is. Don't give it the normal meaning. Don't give it the attention it deserves. Just observe what's happening and step back and actually question, is this really benefiting me to the way
that I believe it is or the way that I'm seeing it now because when something terrible happens and maybe it's a massive client that you've lost it's a huge part of the income maybe clients are not who they say they are and they've let you down last minute maybe contracts didn't get completed the way that you expected them to and the first reaction is
my gosh, how am going to survive? So you go into a whirlwind of old beliefs that tell you that this is not safe and you've got to stop doing this and now you're talking yourself out of going back to a nine-to-five job that you left in the bloody first place and that drove you up the wall to even start this. That's not what it's asking for. It's revealing. It's actually revealing what needs for you.
to let go of.
Your needs at that time, your beliefs at that time are not going to serve you to the version that you're going to step into. So they have to break down and it can look like relationship breakups, it can look like financial loss, it can look like massive investments suddenly disappearing, it can look like holidays going completely wrong, disastrous. Whatever's happening and you're noticing there's a lot going on.
before you go into the pity party, before you go into, my God, the world's bloody falling apart, what would really benefit you even more is to question, what is it I'm being given and what is it I'm being shown? And just keep that mind, because every level that you go up, every distinctive income increase, you are going to hit these barriers time and time again.
and speak to any experienced business owner they will explain it beautifully as in it's like you get to that door and it slams back in your face and you've got to go through it again and it happens but if you can notice it before and accept it you won't go down the warren that you normally go down you won't go down the fear you won't allow that kind of pain to overtake everything that's going on in your life
you'll actually be able to sit back and go, well it's okay, it will pass and actually what's coming in is a thousand times better and when you have that kind of faith and that kind of hope of knowing that it will be okay regardless of what the outside world is showing you that is you taking your power back that is you speeding up what it is that's going to come into your life and it's okay to have a bloody meltdown.
You're going through women in their 40s and 50s are going through a completely different cycle. They're going through a shedding cycle. You can call it the many pours, but I don't. I simply call it another awakening. It's a space where you are now letting go of all the conditioning, all the beliefs, all the times you've given. And now it's time for you to give it back to yourself. Now you are being shown and gifted.
by the universe a different way of living that will actually enhance. It's not going to be easy. It's going to be another journey. And you're going to get so self-aware of who you are, what your beliefs are, what your values are, that you will have boundaries that stop anything that doesn't sit with your values coming into your life. Where before you've just opened the doors and let everybody walk all over you. You've said yes to everybody. You've never put a boundary up in your life before.
But when you have a business you have to take on board. It's going to speed up this process. It's going to reveal where you in life don't mix anymore and you need to start acting and becoming the version of you that has that dream, that has that desire. And when that happens and then you start noticing somebody that you know that's got a business maybe and they start saying things are going wrong.
maybe it's time to sit back and watch and notice that they are going through a stretch they are going to come out the other side a thousand times better without them even realizing it at the minute that is the difference and when you can notice other peoples and I'm not saying to jump in and go it's all going to be okay it's lovely dovely when you're going through these stages you don't want to hear that
You need a bit of empathy and you need a bit of sympathy and you just need to be somebody there to be with you. We don't need the answers all the time. Sometimes we just need to be heard. That's enough.
But if you can start to notice your own patterns and they will happen, it has to. It's a shedding process. It's no different than a spider or a snake. have to, as they grow, they continuously have to outgrow their skin. All like crabs and snails, they have shells. They have to find a bigger home. They can't stay restricted where they are.
don't have a choice it's not the most pleasurable experience but they have to come out of that old version of themselves and then they reveal the most beautiful spectacular it's like the butterfly it has to from a caterpillar melt and it actually decapitates its own head to do the process but it trusts there's something better at the end it doesn't know what it is science has now proven
that a butterfly can actually recognise a caterpillar but it doesn't mean it goes back and sits and talks to the caterpillars does it? It's now taken on a whole new perspective and a bigger more joyful life and that's the difference that's what's happening to you. So why is self-trust so important? Why is self-love so needed more than ever now?
And why is a little bit more patience required from you? Because it's asking you to be, not just do. A human being is being, it's not always doing. You're not here just to work your ass off to the grind 24-7. If that was the case, there would be people that would be multi-billionaires
and they are actually some of the poorest people. It's not how hard you work or how hard you grind or how much you force things. The more you try to control and hold on, the worse it gets because the universe and God isn't asking you to hold on. It's asking you to trust the process. And even when it's not going the exact direction that you maybe you corrected in your mind and believed it could be,
Maybe there's something different and better and bigger coming. Maybe you've just got to trust the process more.
just want you to think about that for a little while and just consider that when we level up, it feels like a shit show. There's no other way to describe it. There really isn't.
But maybe we can step back and we can observe it for what it is and not react to what we thought it or think it has to be. We can't control everything in life, but we can control our thoughts, our feelings and our words and our actions. If we choose to. And the minute you take your power back, it's the minute the world starts to reflect that back to you. So that is what a quantum leap can be.
it can be a process that we observe, that we embark on, but we don't have to be involved in all the traumatic feelings that it can provoke us to go into. We don't have to leap into that pit, as I call it. We can stand on the outside and just watch it. We can react.
but maybe we cannot react the way we used to. Be so drawn into disasters rather than actually what would be the benefit? What is this actually helping me see? Why would this happen? What is it making me realise I've already got? What am I grateful for in this process?
everything that does happen to us there is a good reason and it's never for creating you to be in absolute hell it's creating you to reevaluate maybe realign and actually take a different action you're being gently nudged you're being gently guided you're constantly with
Others. We aren't here alone. We are surrounded by our guides.
And we are always being guided if we choose to listen or ask. We're not here alone. I can't tell you that enough. It may look like it, but when times get really tough, yes, we need our friends and the family, but also we've got our inner self. We've got universe or God or whatever you want to call it because
and we've got our guides and our angels around. You don't have to believe it. That's totally your choice. I'm not here to convince you. I'm here to share with you there is a different way and a different perspective to take that can be less painful and actually start flowing you to where you want to go with a lot more ease and actually a far nicer speed to go.
You can't avoid the bumps in the road. You can't avoid the mountains. You'll never become the version unless you get over those mountains. But you might be able to get over them without having the fucking tantrum as I... and looking at everything can do. Just remember your thoughts. The longer they're in negativity, the longer they're in despair, the longer you're negatively talking and...
expressing yourself in not such a positive or inspirational way the more you'll bring into your life that will reflect those negative thoughts and nobody wants that you can't be positive 24 7 without negativity because you wouldn't understand what you were doing but you do have a choice so i'll let you have that one this week and just remember when you're in the middle of that
you are just about to crack into the new version of you and you're going to be taking the biggest boldest leap of faiths that you've not experienced before and be kind to yourself take time out but do more things that bring you more joy it's not all hustle and grind but you will see just how magical how wonderful and what you are as an incredible leader that you never
believed she possibly could be and now look at you. So until next week, with much love and light.
